


Beast's Offer

by Anonymous



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-06-24 02:17:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19714276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Warriors attack early to kidnap Eren however with a twist of fate they kidnap Jean instead Eren. İt's a misfortune for warriors but not for Zeke, even a blessing if you call it.Jean awakens at Utgard castle without any memories of recent events. How he did get here? Why Reiner Annie Bertolt tried to kidnap Eren? What is their goal? What happened to Marco? Jean feels like he knews the answers but cannot recall.From eyes of Eren, Jean acts weird and he determined to find out what happened to Jean when he kidnapped.The answers they seek is will change their lifes forever.Canon Attack on Titan with a twist. Armored Titan Jean Kirstein.





	1. Hostage

“So he refuses easy way?” Jean hears his captor speak. Or titan Jean wasnt sure. Reiner never took out blindfold due to this Jean had to rely on his hearing. “So we will be using hard way then. Restrain him.”

This is sound bad, he doesnt know what they trying to do or what it is but he knows it is bad. When he feels hands over him he starts to struggle, one of them holds his head Jean tries to get away but they doesnt relent.

“Good keep him like that.”

Footsteps draws closer as Jean struggles more. He cannot move one inch, they tighten their hold even more, soon he is gasping in pain. What is the point of struggle? He is cannot escape, doesnt know where he is. But those hardly matters as he panics more. He knew something bad would happen when he joined Survey Corps yet he joined anyway. He is scared, he wants to go home, but he knows he cannot do that anymore.

He heard too many things. Not only humanity outside of walls is living, they want to conquer walls as well. They much more advanced to compared humans live in walls. But most shocking info of all is…

Humans are source of titans.

Jean already had a hard time to believe all those. All of those sounded too crazy yet evidance was right front of him.

Thats why he is going to die. They will kill him, to keep their secrets. But that doesnt stop him from begging. “Please… Please stop…” He feels tears in his eyes. He no longer struggles yet his body shakes. Maybe they didnt heard it, he repeats again. “Please stop…” Footsteps stops front of him. A sharp thing pokes his neck. He distantly thinks thats a needle. He barely holds his sobs.

Suddenly he feels a sharp prick in his neck. Contents of needle works quickly, numbness spreads to his body. His senses are dulled as well, a while later they remove blindfold he sees a blurry shape. 

“Good work, now bring Reiner.”

With those words the hands holding him leaves, Jean suddenly finds himself staring at sky. Blurry shape comes at his side, Jean tries to move but his body doesnt working. 

“Sadly you and I passed point of no return.” His mind starts to get blank… “Dont worry its will over soon.” Jean blacks out.

A nightmare… He… holds something? Also he hears a scream.

“PLEASE SAVE ME! SOMEONE ANYONE SAVE ME PLEASE! ZEKE, ZEKE PLEASE STOP HİM.”

He doesnt care about yelling, he bites the thing in his hands… its screams in pain but he doesnt care.

Once he is done… No. İt cant be...

Blood… A lot of blood.

Oh gods… What he is done?

Now he looks at blurry shape again, they saying something as blurry shape puts his hand at him.

He blacks out again.


	2. Utgard Castle Part 1

_“He is successfully inherited armored titan, Zeke. Now what we going to do?”_

_“Leave him at this castle.”_

_“Are you sure? Titans might eat him.”_

_“I ordered them to stay away from castle. Long as he stays in castle, titans will not eat him.”_

_“We could been used a random titan or villager. Why did you choose him?_

_“You will see…”_

* * *

He wakes up suddenly, his body shakes… He had a bad nightmare, Jean only remembers screams and blood. Eventually he calms down, remembering he should get ready for training otherwise Shadis will kick his ass again. He will kick his ass because everyone is up already and leaved without him. Jerks. Probably Eren made sure no one awakened him. He should go training area quicky. He goes to his drawer to take his clothes. But he cannot find the drawer…

With confusion he looks around, only to find out he isn’t at training camp. Futher more investigation reveals he doesnt have 3D gear, limited on food and he doesnt remember what happened after Erwin called him to his office.

Jean is unsure what to do. İs he brought here without his will or-

_“I know it is a dangerious mission but Jean this mission will decide fate of humanity, you will take Eren’s place.”_

Oh… He remembers now.

He taken Eren’s place at Stohess District. Then somebody knocked him out… Somebody. Who?

_“DAMN İT REİNER! WE GOT THE WRONG PERSON! NOW THEY WİLL GİVE OUR POWERS TO OTHER WARRİORS!”_

_“We no longer change what happened Annie-chan. I will take responsibility of this operations failure.”_

_When he opened his eyes he looked around while trying to move, this was a mistake since Reiner noticed him and knocked him out._

Reiner Annie and Bertolt… They were the ones who broken Wall Maria causing deaths of thousands humans. They were his _friends_. Jean remembered the times he Connie and Marco tried to guess weather with Bertolt’s weird sleeping positions. Reiner with his helpfull advices with funny personality, he was the older brother of 104th. Or Annie the cold girl who was had wits to fight with Mikasa.

Why did they tried to kidnap Eren? Because he can transform a titan like them? That was most likely explanation still… İt didnt explained what was their goal.

He lived with them without knowing their true colors. Just thinking about them makes Jean feel sick. He fells to his knees holding his stomach as he tries to vomit. But nothing comes out since they didnt given him anything to eat until now. How long since he has eaten anything? İt is probably more than one day since he feels quite thirsty.

He drinks remaining water, eats the food but its sits like a stone in his stomach. Once he is done he sits down trying to remember what happened after Reiner knocked him out. Or his nightmare.

He draws blank, how much he tries it doesnt work. He cannot recall what happened. Jean gives up deciding to explore this place. He needs check higher floors for food and other things. But before doing that Jean looks outside from windows.

He regrets this decision immediately.

Titans… A lot of titans walking around of this place… İts only a matter time to them to discover this place. He doesnt have any weapons or 3D gear. İf they find him out… He cannot fight, they would eat him. Jean quickly runs to higher floor, Jean knews locks will not hold against titans still he bothers to lock the door behind him.

He thought he was finally free but they showed him how wrong he was. His body shaking with realisation of they leaved him to die. They leaved him to die in hands of titans. He leans back to wall to find his balance.

He is going to die like Marco. And no one will find his body. He slowly sits down, curls himself. Even with panic that hammers his heart, fatigue spreads his body. Soon he barely keep his eyes open.

“Marco… I’m sorry. I’m-”

_“AAAAGH… STOP İİİİİİT!! ANNİE?! PLEASE STOP! WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY ARE YOU DOİNG THİS?!! ANNİE?!!”_

_“That’s what makes us warriors. Good job Annie.”_

Without understanding what he seeing Jean falls into an uneasy sleep.


	3. Utgard Castle Part 2

Jean doesnt knows how long he is here. He is slowly losing hope, there's only one week's worth of food. Weirdly titans still doesnt enter the castle.

_“This is a theory but Titans can sense humans at inside of houses. We had a lot of reports saying they captured humans inside of houses. Even ones that doesnt went to windows.”_

So titans pretty much sense that he is hiding here yet… Why none of them checking this place? ~~Not that Jean actually wants.~~ All of them are abnormal titans? But that cant be it either, abnormal titans are extremely rare. There is no way to be all of them to be abnormal. Then why? Jean mostly thinking about this question. He cannot find any answer though. He still cant remember anything about his kidnapping either.

Slowly sun settles and night comes. Jean still cannot go outside since everthing is too dark to see. He has to wait until full moon comes. His plan was find a horse and go to Wall Rose. He has to leave this castle soon or later.

Recently he found a small knife under a straw mattress, its nothing but still. He feels safer now, even if it’s isnt useful against titans, he can still use it when they come.

That was another weird thing. Why they leaved him at this castle? İf they wanted to make sure Jean was dead they would been leaved him at an open area or straight kill with a gun. Why leave your job to luck? Well they are lucky since he doesnt remember anything.

Even though this is an unlikely idea, they simply didnt wanted to kill him because he was their friend. After all they shared a roof for three years no less. Jean really, _really_ wanted to believe this. But sadly that thought is only a lie.

He lies on the straw mattress, he currently have nightmares but cannot remember once he wakes up. However not remembering nightmares doesnt save him from waking up with terror and dread. Whatever happened after Annie’s talk must been traumatic, he feels damaged, not even being sure damaged is right term for it. He feels so, _so_ wrong. Like he is no longer same person agreed to take place of Eren. But worst thing is Jean sees or imagines things that doesnt exists. Cars that can fly at sky? That’s planes. Or what goes through the cables? They call it electricity. Plane? Electricity? He doesnt know what are those yet he can clearly imagine what those are. But he doesnt have any idea how he is doing this.

Not only they messed up with his body, they messed up with his head too. When he was younger he always scared from insane persons, never thinked he would grow up to be one. İf he isn’t insane he will be if he stays here any longer. Maybe loneliness messing with his head too, sadly he doesnt have any way to know. He needs to get out here, he have no choice but stay, outside is crawling with titans, night is too dark to figure out his way and he doesnt have a horse to escape from titans. ~~İronically Eren calls him a horse.~~

He feels more fatigued each day. Thats probably he doesnt eat enough or doesnt getting a good sleep. He is too mentally tired to be caring about those. More he waits more tired he becomes. Also he only feels cold even sun shines brightly.

He falls asleep. After waking up he falls into a cycle, he loses track of days only remembering terror and dread when he wakes up from a uneasy sleep. A week passes so fast Jean didnt even realize that until he no longer have food. Moonlight is still isnt strong enough to show him his way.

He can sense his death is coming yet he no longer can do anything about it. He is given in only wanting to everthing to end. After a few hours later ~~or it is days?~~ he barely have strength to open his eyes, waiting the bitter end that they chosen for him…

A pair of warm hands holds his cheekbones. Jean comes to himself but doesnt open his eyes.

“Kid! Are you alright? Shit, he is cold. Trainees! Do you guys know who he is?”

Footsteps comes closer, it’s feels familiar each step fills him with dread.

“Jean?!”

He hears multiple voices calling his name, opens his eyes. Everthing is too blurry to make out, just like last time.

Last time?

_A needle in his neck, the screams followed by blood, a voice telling;_

_~~“He is successfully inherited armored titan, Zeke.”~~ _

He still shaking when someone puts hands on his shoulder.

“Snap out of it! Damn it he is going into shock! Gelgar take trainees out here and call Mike!”

Thats the last thing he hears before darkness claims him.

* * *

_Somebody hugs him… He feels warm. Jean hears a warm voice… That reminds him his mother… Wait is someone speaking?_

_“We were adandoned… That’s why we live in this walled ghetto. İn our veins flows the blood of devils who once did very bad things. İf we’re not caged up,we’ll only bother everyone.”_

_What? What are you talking about? Ghetto? Devils? Please explain more! I tired from this! I need to understand what is going on! Please! PLEASE EXPLAİN MORE!_

_…_

Dream ends and he wakes up without remembering any of it.

* * *

"Yes he is the one changed places with Eren Jeager. From what I heard from Erwin they kidnapped him."

"But then what he is doing here? I'm sure this kid is here for atleast one week. İf we did come this place one day later he would been died."

"Erwin's plan still worked, we kept Eren safe from enemies that destroyed wall. For kid, Erwin thinked they would knock him out and left him somewhere. İn the end he was right but he didnt think it would take this long."

"That means he learned a few things about enemy?"

"That's unlikely Nanaba, they probably kept knocked him out. Let's hope he doesnt have any brain damage."

"We can worry about brain damage if he lives Mike, I should check him but why you guys didnt tell me anything?

"We didnt tell anyone else, only Erwin, Hange Levi and I knew about this. We were going to tell you too but you were given the mission to look after suspicious trainees."

"Once we rested enough I assume we'll be taking kid to Erwin."

"Yes that's our priority, not only that we also have to protect this kid from traitors as well."

"Nnnnnnghhhh"

They both looked at Jean who was shaking and whimpering in his sleep.

"They aren't merciful to this kid for sure."

Nanaba goes his side to check him. "He is little bit warmer now. They really messed up with him."

"Ple... ase n mre..."

"İs he saying something?"

"He says please no more."

"I will check the trainees, they are asking about him a lot, especially bald one and potato girl."

"Good luck, they are stubborn."


	4. Utgard Castle Part 3

_What? What are you talking about? Ghetto? Devils? Please explain more! I tired from this! I need to understand what is going on! Please! PLEASE EXPLAİN MORE!_

Jean opens his eyes first thing he notices is warmth... He no longer feels the bone chilling coldness that fatigued him down. Something falls of when he sits upright. Wait this is cape of Survey Corps... İs he finally saved or its just his mind playing tricks? Maybe Reiner and others returned for him. He takes small knife that hidden in straw mattress, hiding it in one of his pocket.

He supports himself with wall while going to door, Jean knows suprise attack is his only way to escape. Footsteps near as his hands holds the knife. Seconds were passed yet for Jean it’s feels like hours…

Door opens and Jean pulls the knife to see…

A Survey Corps veteran.

Knife falls from his hands, he would followed the knife if he hadnt leaned to wall. His face probably giving him away since veteran doesnt look angry but suprised?

“Should been guessed that you going to awaken. How are you feeling? Last time I checked you, you were cold.”

He still cannot believe, his legs give up. He excepts to feel cold floor but he doesnt.

“Be carefull you are still recovering.”

İt tooks moments to realize that she caught him before he hit the ground. With her support he returns to straw mattress. Her eyes locks at the knife that fallen from Jean’s hands, he feels guilt blossoming inside of him.

“I’m sorry.”

“You couldn't know that was us, Jean”

She brings him some food, soup? He felt a hand on his forehead. She furrows her eyebrows little bit. She leaves his side, going to other side of room. He takes this as you can eat now. His hands were still shaky but manages to finish soup and bread.

“I wanted to ask you about kidnapping Jean. Do you remember anything about it?”

He should been guessed this. Of course they going to ask about this, what he did except? After all he has valuable information about enemy right? Right? How he is going to tell that he doesnt remember anything? What if-

“İt’s okay if you doesnt remember anything, we suspect that they kept you unconscious for long time.”

Oh. Maybe that’s why he doesnt remember anything, they kept him unconscious after all he still remembers things until Reiner knocked him out in cart.

“I remember some small parts but… I dont remember most of kidnapping.”

“Just like Mike said…”

“Mike? You mean the tall person at Commander Erwin’s side?”

“Yes, he is here as well, İt’s better to talk the things you remember with Mike.”

“I… feel sleepy.”

“Dont force yourself. A few days later we are going to meet up with Commander himself. I do suggest wait until Erwin comes, you will save yourself from a lot of talking.”

“Okay…”

* * *

_Screams that deafen his ears, red that stains the earth, no matter where he goes screams and red always follows him._

_They fire cannonballs at him but its ineffective against him. With sheer speed and force he breaks the wall._

_A ship leaves the port, leaving the destruction that caused by titans behind. A green eyed boy looks at him, swearing to kill him and avenge his mother._

_After all they are the monsters that going to unleash the colossal rumbling… He is going to prevent that, he has too, for his family._

* * *

He had a dream again and he doesnt remember it… Again. At other side of room Mike watches him. But he doesnt notice it until Mike says his name.

“Jean Kirstein from 104th training corps is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“We will be talking about what happened at kidnapping once Commander gathers everyone. Until that moment you not allowed to see other trainees.”

“Other trainees? You mean trainees from 104th?”

“Yes, they were asking about you a lot, especially Connie and Sasha.”

“I want to tell something, it’s about titans. They weirdly not coming-“

“Closer to this castle right? We noticed that too, they acting weird indeed. İf there no questions to ask I will be leaving. Nanaba will come soon.”

“Understood.”

Mike leaves to room, Jean is alone again. He should be happy, he is safe, will going to home soon and will no longer worry about Reiner and his friends...

But one voice in his head tolds him everything will get worser.


	5. Utgard Castle Part 4

Tomorrow they will be leaving this castle. Jean cried from happinesss when he heared that. Finally he is leaving this castle. İt's feels so long, almost like he never went outside for years ~~even though it was for only 2 weeks.~~

He feels alone... He isnt alone, Mike Nanaba and other veterans never leave him alone for five minutes... He just missing companionship of someone at his age. He never would been believed if somebody told him that he is going to miss Connie and Sasha's antics. He really does miss it. Worse thing is he knows they are here, heck he can even hear their voices... They know he is here too, but he cant talk to them until he talks with Erwin first.

One part of him wants to avoid them even though other part of him wants them at his side. Maybe he doesnt want them to know how much he changed or he is wanting their pitiful looks... ~~They already given him enough pitiful looks when Marco died.~~

His only solace was it would end quickly. Tomorrow he will be far, _far_ away from this damned castle.

But it is a lie isnt it?

_İsnt it?_

* * *

Day started like any other days. He eaten food, talked with veterans and sleept...

He awakened to shoutings of veterans. With sleep included haze he wondered what they shouting about.

"Mike, Titans are coming to this way!"

"Damn it! Why not other times but now?!"

"İt's too late to think about that, we gotta protect trainees first Gelgar."

"But that means..."

Titans are attacking the castle now... They never attacked castle when he is alone... Why now? Why?

"Jean!"

He snaps out his thoughts and lookes at Nanaba who is preparing her 3d gear.

"İt's will be fine, we are called veterans for a reason okay?"

"Yes" He stands up, after a few days rest and food he almost returned normal yet he feels so tired, he is _tired_ , from this, from this mission, from himself and most imporantly from this world that always kick him when he is down. But he lies to her. "I believe in you."

"Take this, for protecting yourself."

She gives him the knife that he almost used against her. Fate works in weird ways, however it isnt time to think about it.

"İt isnt much but better than having none. Other trainees will come soon. Once veryone comes we want all of you to go castles highest part and lock all doors. And last thing, Jean never talk about your mission, not even your closest friend."

"Understood." Because what else he can say? They will die here... Atleast dying from hunger was less painfull than eaten by titans. But they took that chance from him. Atleast he can talk to other 104th.

They take off with their 3d gear after their ~~last~~ talk. Soon after he hear knocks on the door, Jean recognize fear from their voices. They will accept their fate too...

"Jean! Open the door! İt's us 104th!"

He opens the door to see Connie, Sasha Ymir and Crista. No Reiner Annie or Bertolt...

"You look much better when we first found you Jean..." Crista says to him, They did see his pitifull state already... They giving him that pitifull looks again, he must be looking broken as he feels.

"Why are you here? Arent you supposed to be at Eren's side?"

Too many questions yet so little time to answer... "We have to go highest part of the castle and lock the doors."

Others didnt like the way he avoids their questions but he ordered to not talk about his mission... They listen him locking all doors and going to roof. Connie still presses the subject.

"Why are you here Jean?"

Jean doesnt answer that, keeps his silence even after Ymir holds his collar, pushes him to wall. tension in air was so high that he couldn't breathe.

"He's asking an question Jean boy I also want to know why are you here."

"I cant talk about that Ymir..."

"Why?"

"Can't tell you guys now..."

"Are you... Really Jean Kirstein? Because Jean I know... İsnt a person like this."

He feels a pain in his heart. Those lines comfirming that he is changed, so much so his friends asking him if he is the real one. He swallows the pain and repeats "We have go to roof otherwise titans will eat us."

That seems like enough threat to shut their month.

"You are not getting away with this Kirstein." Ymir says angrily, Jean doesnt blame her... They have rights to know what happening around them. He will tell them everything, _he will_ but not now.

"I wont." He responds. Long as they alive they can talk about it...

Once they arrive at roof of castle moonlight lights their vision, only too see the terror of titans. Two of veterans died already, only Mike Nanaba and Gelgar fighting against titans, but they overwhelmed with sheer number of titans... Something caughts his eyes when all of them hears a roar...

A titan... Sitting top of Wall yelling at titans... Why it does that? ~~He is the one who controls titans.~~ The voice in his head whispers, Jean ignores it.

They all going to die here.


	6. Utgard Castle Part 5

As veterans fight they watch, Jean can hear their sarcastic comments as if they going to survive from this barricade of titans. Of course there is this weird titan who sits top of the wall, when it’s roars titans go wild… More he looks that titan more familiar it’s becomes… Almost like he is knowing ~~him~~ it for years…

Why he is thinking like that? Jean never seen it before yet… Then why he is getting deja vu feelings? ~~İt's the beast titan, the one who can control titans.~~

“…!! We’re too late! The door… They broke through!”

This is the last thing they need right? İn the end roof isnt safe either… He keeps himself from laughing in despair… one of scouts comes to thier side to tell devastating news…

“Titans have entered the castle! Get back inside and put up barricades to stop them! Our 3D gear will be useless inside. İf you can’t stop them… Then worst case… Escape to this rooftop. Just remember… We can’t promise that we’ll come save you. I dont know if we’ll be alive or not… We can’t tell how many titans are left… Or whether our gas and blades will last long enough… But do what you always do. Give it all You’ve got, as long as you’re alive! GOT THAT?!”

“YES MA’AM!” is their reply. But Jean sees her through… She doesnt believe that she will survive this hell either. Atleast he arent alone with this feeling. They go back inside to barricade the doors… Problem is who going to first to check the doors…

Connie is fast but he will be paralyzed with fear if he sees a titan. Same with Krista. Sasha have great instincts but cannot do anything without weapons… Ymir will never leave Krista’s side so thats only leaves himself…

But arent he a selfish jerk? Arent he only cared about himself?

_“Jean, I think you’d make a better leader than me.”_

_“Me? You’ve gotta be kidding. I’m not brave in the least. What made you think that?”_

_“Don’t get mad whe you hear this but Jean… You are not a strong person, So you can really understand how weak people feel.”_

_“What the hell?”_

_But you’re also good at recognizing what’s going on at any given moment. You know exactly what needs to be done. I mean… Most humans are weak, including me… But if I got an order from someone who saw things like I do, no matter how tough it was, I’d do my damnedest to carry it out.”_

Why he remembering this now? Of course Marco would believe in him no matter what. İf he give up now Marco would disappointed with him. İf he going to die well as may he will try his damnedest to live. He takes the torch that lightens up the castle walls. İt’s either the scouts or Marco’s words that ignited his desire for life, other looks puzzled but they have no choice but follow.

He will do his hardest to live, for others and Marco.

“As the currently highest ranked trainee of 104th here, I’ll see how far the titans have come. Rest of you, gather uo everything you can! Boards, poles, whatever you can find!”

“Jean wait!” Krista yells but he is already sprinted to door… İt’s happened isnt it? Finally this damned castle and its walls drove him to insanity. His blood boils with song of freedom, as he opens the doors. He is going to die or get out from this place, there is no in between.

He founds the titan after opening the door. Looking a titan from this close makes him shiver, he quickly closes to door but its too late… The torch falls from his hand as he tries to keep door shut.

“They’re down here!” is only thing he says as titan uses brute force. He isnt strong enough to keep the titan as it’s hands break the door, the hand reaches him…

_A titan reaches to him, he is tries to move yet not even a single muscle obeys his mind… Titan reaches him, before its holds him somebody pushes him from its grasp… İt’s holds the boy who saved him, slowly taking him to its mouth. The boy struggles but none can save him, they run as boy eaten by titan._

He avoids the hand as titan brokes door more.

“Jean!”

Ymir and others comes to his rescue, they brought a cannon…

“Powder, shells we dont have any of that! So we’re throwing it at ‘em. Outta the way!”

“Take this!”

He sprints fast as he could, barely dodges the cannon. İts hits titan with sheer force and knocks it out. İt tries to get off from cannon but fails…

“Looks like, it actually worked… Miraculously.”

“Yeah, it can’t get out from under that. Not at it’s size.”

With closer look Ymir carries a pitchfork with her, well better than his knife.

Connie quickly rushes his side while girls remain at stairs staying back at Ymir’s side. He gets up throwing a glance to titan, he returns to stairs.

“F… For now Let’s retreat back upstairs! More than one might’ve made it inside…”

One more titan comes from broken door, just behind of Conni. He quickly grabs him before titan does, running fast as he could. Titan is fast but not as them.

“A titan is behind us!” He yells alerting the others.

Ymir quickly turns back and with precise aiming hits its eyes with pitchfork.

“To window, we’ll throw this thing out!”

He, Ymir and Connie with their all power pushes titan to window where Ymir swiftly delivers a kick to titan throwing it out the window. All of them shaking with fear but they have to go upstairs.

“Let’s go before another one comes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot that Sasha was arent in utgard castle with others... When I realized this I was like "o shit", but well after rescuing the little girl Sasha went to Nanaba's team.


	7. Utgard Castle Part 6

They barricade the door with everthing that they have, but in the end it will be not enough… 

“What do we do when the next one gets in? We… We wont get that luckly again…”

He agrees with that… They were lucky at that time, but next time… They will be not so lucky… Or live long to have a next time… He owns them an explanation, screw the rules that veterans made, he is going to tell what happened.

They looking at him like they can read his thoughts, waiting for him to say something. He takes a deep breath, beginning to talk.

“I… I was with Eren’s. Since enemy wanted Eren, I became his body double. They thought I was Eren and they kidnapped me… I opened my eyes at this castle, without remembering what happened. I was here for nine days, couldnt able to get out since titans were crawling.”

“This is really it? You really doesnt remember anything?”

“No, sadly they kept me unconscious, even if I was awake... they probably did... something bad...”

“Something bad? But what it could be?”

“I cant remember it but I feel... broken...”

Room is silent after he says that. İt’s stays like that for awhile until Sasha talks.

“Do you remember... Who kidnapped you?”

This is the only question that he cannot answer, not because of orders... but the persons. Reiner, Bertolt and Annie is a part of 104th. They never believe him if he said the truth. Thats why he lies...

“No I can’t remember...”

“They probably blindfolded him too... İt’s okey Jean.”

“Thanks Krista...”

“Well you did hold your promise, explaining why are you here. But its doesnt change the fact we are stuck here with shitty situation.”

“I’m sorry Jean... Also thanks, you’re did save my ass. I need to repay you someday.”

“Oh... You did save me back at Trost... İt was me who repaying life debt.”

“İf your debt talk is over, let’s gather up anything that seems usable. So we can die with no regrets. Of course... Our lives mostly depend on how skilled our officers are...”

From windows they can see the veterans fighting with all their might. They were called veterans for a reason after all... Only most oldest and high titan kill record could obtain you the title of veteran.

Woah, that the Survey Corps for you... Other soldiers don’t even compare to them...”

They hear a deafening from above, from rooftop. They went to the rooftop fast as they can, only to find out the corpses of scouts. Their bodies looked like smashed with stones... But what kind of thing able to do this? Aren't answer is obvious? That was Zeke who did it. He is the Beast Titan.

The voice whispers in his head as Gelgar talks.

“İt’s hopeless… They both died instantly. Be carefull… A boulder came flying from over there, toward the wall. That’s what got them.”

“What? But…”

“From the wall?”

“THAT THİNG!!” Connie points out the wall as he sees the Beast titan.

All of them look the towards the wall to see the Beast titan, only to be replied with a roar. After the roar multiple titans run towards to castle.

“There was just one titan that eas walking towards the wall… İt’s was… That Beast titan that did this-“ His words stuck at his throat as he sees more titans coming to them. “AGH!! MULTİPLE TİTANS APPROACHİNG!!”

“More than double the number we just dealt with” Mike murmurs.

“What..?!”

“This timing makes it feel like the titans are conducting some sort of strategic operation…” Mike answers to Gelgar’s question.

He is right, they learned that titans are mindless monsters that eats only humans… They arent even interacting any other living things aside from humans. Yet… Now they throwing rocks at the castle, making strategic plans… As if they fighting against humans…

Jean knows he no longer allowed to give up, only choice is moving foward. But what is the point of moving foward when you are stuck at a place, waiting for death? As if Nanaba reads his mind, tells what he is feeling.

“İt almost feels as if… They’ve been toying with us from the start…”

From distance, Beast titan roars again.


	8. Utgard Castle Part 7

Hours of fighting, Jean can see them getting weaker each moment. They running out gas and blades. Their end is near, just give them one hour at the best. He glances at to wall excpeting to see Beast Titan but it isnt here… What? But why? Why it did leave that place now?

“Gelgars gas is run out.” One voice cuts his thoughts in half. Voice itself is filled with despair.

He looks at the veterans to see, yes all of them run out everthing, especially Gelgar who is also injured from his head. They just talking now… He doesnt know what they talking about but glance to his way. At that moment Jean understands everything.

This is his fault. Titans attacking, putting lives of others, all of them is his fault. İf he tried more hard enough, he could been escaped from Reiner, wouldnt end up here. His friends or veterans wouldnt end up here since they were searching for him.

Now everyone going to die and it is his fault.

One titan caughts Gelgar who fall from castle, Nanaba quickly takes an action, cutting titans neck. But doing this causes to run her gas out now she cant escape. This time Mike trys to save her from the titans but its a futile attempt at he best since he also run out the gas now he cannot go anywhere either.

Soon horrifying screams fills the air, making most of 104th jump in their place, all of them comes to his side to see fates of veterans who trying to protect them. Only to see they getting eaten by titans…

Krista covers her face turning to Ymir who hugs her, Sasha turns back no longer bear to see them and Connie who silently cries as going to Sasha’s side. Only Jean watches.

“WHO DİD THİS?! WHO DRANK THE ENTİRE BOTTLE?!”

They hear Gelgars voice, giving them a little hope if only he know that bottle was empty from beginning.

They only see Gelgar eaten by titans… He could hear Connie’s murmurs of “They got him.”

A rock grabs his attention as flying towards to titan. Krista is starts to throw rocks, but Ymir stops her.

“Stop Krista. The tower’s coming apart. You’ll fall.”

“B… But… They sacrificed theyselves for us. Nanaba, Gelgar, Mike.

Jean turns to Connie now who is sitting. He holds his had with his hand weakly talking to himself.

“Ahh.. Damn it… So… Do we just… Sit here, wait for the tower to collapse and get eaten? Can’t we do… Something? Cant we?” He hits the wall with other hand. And he does that again. “İSN’T THERE ANYTHİNG WE CAN DO?! DAMN İT!! DAMN İT!! DAMN İT!!” He holds his hand that hit the wall, looking defeated. “Our mission’s half finished and now we’re gonna be wiped out? I just wanted it… To have some meaning you know?”

“I want… To fight too. İf only I had a weapon. Then I could die fighting with them.”

Krista’s voice suprises all of them, especially Jean who arent seen this side of Krista. But he isnt the only one who is suprised as Ymir turns to her.

“Krista… Are you still going on about that?”

“What?”

“Don’t _use_ their deaths. Those officers didin’t die so you’d have an excuse to commit suicide.”

“That… That’s not what…” But Ymir cuts her words before she can finish.

“You’re not like Connie or those officers! You don’t really think “I don’t want to die.” You’ve always tried to think of a way to martyr yourself so everyone will praise you! Right?

All of them looking Ymir with shock, Ymir who doesnt care about it.

“I… I don’t” Krista suprises when Ymir puts her hands at her shoulders.

“Maybe you already forgot about this, but… This… İs probably the end. Try to remember. The promise you made when we trained on those snowy mountains…”

Silence falls into the air. No one dares to move as Ymir who draws Krista to near herself. After a moment of silence, sun starts do dawn confirming their doom. This is his last sunrise. Connie is thinking same thing as he comes to his side.

“Never thought… I’d seeing my last sunrise.”

“Same…”

“Do you have any regrets, Jean?”

Regrets… At Trost only regret was living a boring life… When did his life changed? Yes he have regrets. He didnt find out what happened to Marco… Before he opens his mouth, Ymir comes their side. Her face looks… Oddly calm despite of what happened. Jean never understood Ymir in slightest. What is she thinking?

“Any of you have a sharp object on you?”

This question… Feels familiar… but what she will do with a knife? Suicide? No. Not after what she told Krista, doing that would be… Unconsciously his hand went into his pocket. They shared three years together and at this point most of them were good friends.

“Here, this little knife is what I have.”

“Thanks.”

“What do you need it for?” He isnt the only thinking this as Connie talks.

“As a weapon.” She puts her hand to his head while saying this. “I’m going to fight.”

Jean is too suprised to talk aside from a single what, she turns at him.

“Who knows? I’m not even sure myself.”

She walks towards to Krista as she cuts her hand with the knife.

“Krista… I have no right to tell you how to live. So this is just… a wish of mine… Live your life… With pride.”

“What?”

Ymir begins to sprint towards Krista, throwing bloodied knife to ground. Krista raises her arms to her front “Ymir? WAİT!!” She without passes Krista and jumps from the tower. All of them in shock quickly going to place that Ymir jumped. Krista stretches out her hands to reach out to Ymir.

Suddenly light gathers around of Ymir as he transforms to a titan… At the moment she transformed she starts to attack titans around of tower. Ymir can transform like Eren? Then why she didnt tell it? From the looks everyone giving to Ymir Jean assumes they doesnt know it either.

“No way… Ymir can turn… İnto a titan?”

“Ymir…”

~~Wait... That’s the titan from that day.~~


End file.
